BBOE: THINGS THAT WILL KILL YOU

Here is the first installment of the BIG BOOK OF EVERYTHING post series.
A collection of things I've learnt while living abroad, the kind of things you can not learn until you've done so.

One of the few things you do not have the option to bring with you when moving countries is your typical day to day set of ideals and knowledge. For example, Don’t touch this- it gets hot and you will be branded. You haven’t really experienced summer until you've jumped in your car in Oz, gone to clip your seatbelt and been branded by the scorching hot metal buckle. Don’t bike when it’s icy- you WILL stack it & make an utter fool of yourself & I have the battle scars to prove it, courtesy of Holland. Don’t dress like you’re going to a club when you’re wandering a muslim country. Other than the complete disrespect, unless you’re up for being oogled at & shamed- just don’t do it. Don’t bother trying to buy anything on Monday morning in Europe- you more or less can’t. Don't plan to drive through the Menin Gate in Ypres, Belgium around 8pm- You'll be stopped by road blocks as the Last Post service is held. All the simple do’s and don’ts that we ‘just know’ make a huge difference in how we go about our days. You don’t realise just how much of a difference knowledge of the little day to day inconveniences can make. Moving abroad comes with a whole new set of rules and guidelines. Each country has their own big book of everything – and sadly no one’s there to hand it to you when you arrive. Never fear though! The unknown is a huge part of the experience and one of the best things about living abroad, right? Navigating a new land is one of the few ways an adult can once again experience life as if they were a child. Back when no meant I’ll do it anyway and see what happens, when the only way to know how it tasted was to stick out your tongue & lick it, back when written guidelines and spoken wisdom was all but mumbo-jumbo and the only way to really learn was to just get out there and make mistakes.

BBOE EDITION ONE: Things that will kill you.

I’ve recently moved from Malaysia to the Maldives. Prior to Malaysia I spent some time at home in Australia and before that I spent a year living in the Netherlands. So you can imagine how vastly different my big books were and how little was interchangeable between them. Here’s a little snapshot of what I’ve learnt about the Maldives so far

1. Sand is no longer just a part of the beach it’s a part of every aspect of your life. It’s in your hair, your bed, your room, your nickers, your shower, your shoes and no matter how many times you sweep the house it will always find a way to be a part of the floor.

2. When it rains, it pours. There’s nothing quite like the swift and sudden downpour of tropical monsoon rain!

3. The main event, and spotlight of this post? ANIMALS!

Every country you go will be filled with its own set of weird and wonderful animals. They might want to kiss, cuddle, chase, eat or even kill you. And you’re going to need to know which actions to look out for prior to heading in for a pat. Being born and raised in Australia meant I grew up with two facts about animals drilled into me. 1. Accept they are everywhere and 2. Don’t be afraid, but keep in mind almost every animal you’ll encounter in the backyard probably has the power to kill you. Now, I’m no novice to creepy crawlies in my room HOWEVER- I can tell you that nothing has ever made me jump quite like this guy:

This is a crab. A big, brown giant crab (okay he's not that big) and he was getting his creep on in the corner of my room the other day. Can we just take a moment to appreciate how equally freaky, strange and cool it was that there was a CRAB in my room?! A crab. In my room. How did it even get there? This little guy shot me ten miles past terror because at a glance it appeared to be an oversized monstrosity of a huntsman spider. All too familiar with a spider in the corner back home I jumped to the immediate conclusion that it was a giant spider and it was infact going to kill me. It took me a few minutes to collect myself and as I went in for a closer inspection I realized the spider-strosity was actually a crab.  A CRAB.

The very next day I was strolling along the beach, ankle deep in the clear blue water. Minding my own business & testing out my new underwater camera, I was determined to snap some pictures of the little sharks darting around my legs. Suddenly out of nowhere sand started to cloud the water and I watched in shock as a GIANT stingray flapped its wings, slowly revealing itself from beneath the sand – right in front me. In fear of becoming the next Australian casualty to death-by-stingray, I froze. I had never been in such a situation and actually had no idea what to do. Will it hurt me? Are stingrays vicious? If I run will it freak out and attack me? Is this a stand still & don't move kind of situation? I was conflicted by the age old fight or flight. Or in my case- Bend down and take some Stingray & me selfies or wade out the water and run for my life. With a two or so metre long stinger I wasn’t really up for taking this beast on- but I also wasn’t going to leave without some kick ass snaps to mark the experience! Quickly and quietly I moved to a comfortably close position, snapped some pictures and got the hell outta there. All the while being eyeballed by the beautiful beast. See had I been given the BBOE: Maldives edition- I would have had the answers. However, since there is no much thing and this is all part of the fun - I'll be learning through my own experiences & jotting down and sharing my thoughts with you as I create my own BBOE based on day to day happenings. :D
Look out for upcoming posts BBOE Holland edition, and later Living in Asia!